What Might Have Been

We all took a much needed break over the 4th of July weekend. All the engineers and mechanics were glad to get a break from our grueling schedule, so was I. With the ranch empty and quiet, Cal and I sat around and talked about old times and all our missions with Jack. I did a good bit of cooking and drinking this weekend, Cal didn't join me, he says he's quit the stuff.

I don't blame him, Sunday morning I woke up with the worst hangover I think I ever had. No more 4th of July drinking binges for me. It was nice to just hang out with Cal and shoot the breeze, we should do it more often. Tomorrow morning it will be back to work for all of us.

It's 2:00 am I can't sleep. I'm having all kinds of crazy dreams. Some about the mission with Jack, and a few about her. I haven't thought about Valerie in a long time. I loved her more than any other woman I've ever known, sometimes I wish I hadn't let her go. What I did in Berlin wasn't very nice, I wouldn't blame her if she hated me. If I let us get too close, she could get hurt, I didn't want that.

For someone like me it's just better to be alone, then you don't have any weakness. I've got to get to sleep, 6:00 am will be here soon.